I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
