hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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