Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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