I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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