Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
