have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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