Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
