I think im going to throw up on grandma
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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