how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
