You smell like a Billy Joel song
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize