did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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