I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize