Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
