20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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