brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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