i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
