YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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