so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
