He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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