the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
