i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
