Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
