Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
