We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
