whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
