Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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