Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize