this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
