too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
