I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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