I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
