so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
