PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
