I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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