yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
