If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
