it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize