Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
