wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
