at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
