Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
