Me too!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Less talking, more tequila
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize