Don't make out with my wife yet
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
