I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize