I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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