Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
