So drunk its hurt
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
