Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
