yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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