So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
