just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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