I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
40s are totally the cure
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
