If that was your dad, he is hot
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
