This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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