I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
