Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
