dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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