Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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