If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
a search helicopter?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
