Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
