Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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