i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize