we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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