i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
