she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I FOUND THE LEGS
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
