The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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