I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
