They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize