Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Randomize
