I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize