I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
NoShamevember. You game?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
