just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
