what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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