we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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