worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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