My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
