if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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