drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
