So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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