Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
