VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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