it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
