3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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