So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
