I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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