I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
