well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
